


Networking 101

by Tieleen



Category: Supernatural, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, i have no idea why i always forget bruce exists, or off in the distance unobtrusively smashing things, presumably he's in the background being very quiet, probably fits into SPN continuity around season 4 or 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 11:19:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tieleen/pseuds/Tieleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: <em>Supernatural/MCU, Dean +/ any Avenger, Dean has a lot of trouble respecting anybody who willingly wears spandex in public.</em></p><p> </p><p>"See that?" goatee guy says. "We used to get some respect when crazy shit happened, you know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Networking 101

"No," Dean says. "No, the magic I'm fine with. The magic can stay."

Goatee guy rolls his eyes and turns to poke his gigantic friend -- seriously, Dean knows from gigantic, it's been snoring on his passenger seat and stealing his food for years, and this guy is _huge_ \-- in the shoulder.

"See that?" Goatee guy says. "We used to get some respect when crazy shit happened, you know. Evil robots? That's crazy! Aliens? What do you mean, aliens? But now all we get is this. You know why? Because your brother can't spend five minutes without showing off to every camera he can find."

"I'm pretty sure his main thing is usually taking over the world," a third guy points out. "Showing off is mostly just a byproduct."

There are, actually, more people in this room than Dean feels entirely comfortable with. The fact that Third Guy is re-stringing a crossbow is actually making him feel a little better. Crossbows, like magic, he's run into repeatedly, and while one is not his thing and the other can fuck off and never appear in his life again and he'll be a happy camper, they're not... this.

"You're telling me," he says, "that you people are some sort of Justice League knock-off?"

Goatee guy frowns. "Well, we're, you know, real," he says. "And nobody here has ever worn spandex."

The guy in the blue fetish gear and the shield shuffles his feet a bit, his face reddening under the cowl.

"Nobody here has ever worn spandex except Steve," goatee guy continues with barely a pause, "who'll be telling us all about his experience once we're done with this."

"Maybe we should get back to the getting-done-with-this part," the knockout in the catsuit says. "Are you saying you got here the same way we did?"

Dean hesitates. "Not... exactly."

"'Not exactly' standing for 'didn't get hit with a swirly green light by a pissed off alien god', right?" Crossbow guy supplies.

Dean purses his lips. He generally tries not to say this kind of thing to people, because normal interactions have become a much-too-rare thing in his life and he's not all that eager to ruin the ones he still gets.

Still, it's not like it's a freaking _alien god_. "My angel zapped me here," he says. "Pretty sure we got our wires crossed about what 'just past the border' means." Or maybe Castiel got his own wires crossed, and the zapping thing finally did what Dean had always suspected it would and did... something fucked up and horrible, whatever, clearly he's still in one piece. Or maybe this is Cas's passive aggressive way of punishing Dean for eating the last taco.

He waits out the inevitable silence.

"And this personal angel of yours," goatee guy says, "he didn't give you any instructions before he zapped you, did he? Gun down everyone you meet because they're plotting against you, that kind of thing?"

Dean stares at him. "Your friend just told me you got sent here by an _alien god_."

"That's fair," goatee guy admits. "Not really in a place to judge anybody's lifestyle choices. Still, I can see at least one gun and two knives on you even without JARVIS here to run a scan --"

"Four," Crossbow and Catsuit correct in unison.

"-- Right, that, so it might be nice to have some idea about what movie you're living in right now."

"Dude," Dean says, "you're not really filling me with confidence about the superheroes things right now, just so you know."

"That's too bad," goatee guy says. "Some of us need our not-spandex around to really shine, though, and apparently trickster gods' magic's got something against Stark technology, so --"

Dean blinks. " _Trickster_?"

"Ah, there's the shock and awe," goatee guy says.

"Yeah, not so much," Dean says. "Any chance this field trip ends with us shooting the guy in the face?"

"No," says the blond giant.

"We might put him in a magical prison in another dimension," goatee guy says. "It's pretty good. There are alien gags involved."

"Yeah," crossbow guy mutters. "Then he breaks out after two weeks." 

"It's still very satisfying."

Dean decides he's ready to move on to the part where they track down the supernatural big bad and then take it down. They already know he has a gun, it's not like they can hold it against him when he uses it. "Fine," he says. "Let's get this show on the road. How do we get back to Metropolis?"

"Metropolis isn't even Justice League headquarters," goatee guy protests. "You can't just use pop culture references if you can't even be bothered to get them right."

Shield guy taps a finger against his leather suit -- seriously, what is WITH these people -- and ignores this completely. "I guess," he says, "the first step would be finding that angel of yours."


End file.
